When Fake Qualifications Aid Mediocrity: The Case Of Juma Zammimba Masquerading As Brian Banda Of Times Group

One Brian Banda of Times Group projects himself wishfully as an astounding man with credentials at par with renowned world TV personalities. Sadly, wishing is all he has and how far he can go.

Of late the man we all know as Brian Banda has been coaxing loudmouths to his programs in a bid to embarrass government officials and attract glory to himself.

As we write he seems to have taken his battles to the frontline confronting Anti Corruption Bureau officials and the Presidency on what he says is laxity on how the bureau is performing.

For an unsophisticated audience that some Malawians are, people like Brian look sharp and authoritative. But those who know him well and have had a chance to analyze his content presentation will agree that the former State House employee is way below average in the media career.

His levels of inefficiency should not however surprise us in any way. The lad is a Junior Certificate holder who only managed to acquire jobs using an MSCE that belonged to his deceased relative who was the real owner of the name Brian Banda.

For purposes of this write up, the TV host will still be called Brian Banda where necessary albeit in quotes.

‘Brian Banda’ – whose real name is Juma Zammimba- hails from Kathamanga Village, T/A Kunthembwe, Blantyre. Due to lack of enough Intelligence Quotient (IQ) the guy struggled to scrape through primary and secondary school education.

Having failed to get an MSCE certificate he quickly sought the papers of Brian Banda (his late cousin) and moved to town to start looking for jobs. Luckily he landed one at Capital Radio as news reader. That is how his fake name got established and has since used it to dupe and manipulate people.

He then ended up at State House under Joyce Banda but he was reduced to a side show due to his inefficiency. All he did was playing master of ceremonies at government functions, nothing else.

Surely ‘Brian’ knows his lack that is why soon after the 2014 elections many people in the winning camp saw him at Professor Mutharika’s residence in Nyambadwe trying to canvass for favours. First his car was denied entry into the premises as it was suspected he had been sent by his Peoples Party for clandestine moves.

Who in their intelligence would come from the losing PP to Prof. Mutharika’s residence just a day after the polls in the midst of announcing results?

On that day ‘Brian’ managed to park his silver Mercedez Benz outside and filtered through into the compound with a group of DPP officials from Phalombe. While inside he was avoided by all DPP officials who he badly wanted to notice his presence. He left in shame just after some 30 minutes never to return.

Afterwards, though, he started pestering top DPP officials for a job convincing them that he was never a PP member but just a government employee. His logic was that the new government should maintain him as Press Officer at State House because he knows his job. He was rebuffed and ignored for months up until he begged Leonard Chikadya at Times Group for a job.

Since then he has found a platform which he uses to try and shame government. All he does is simply to attract attention so that he pampers his rejected ego a bit.

Just recently he and his MCP bootlicker George Kasakula used their new program to insult the Head of State without giving him a chance to respond. Theirs is a talk show full of anger and wayward spitting of venom which in the end serves no one but themselves.

It has been established that before the program ‘Brian’ called several government and ACB officials to solicit bribes as a way of shelving the program of the day.

He is said to have repeatedly told the officials that with money everything is possible and he has the powers to stop airing of the program if he and Kasakula are given any amount in the ranges of MK500,000 and MK 700,000.

When the officials said no, Brian was on song rapping the DPP government down with accusations he cannot substantiate at any time. How sad.

For some months now it has been rightly pointed out that Brian is obsessed with government. No wonder all his interviews do not lapse without him asking his guests what they think of Professor Arthur Peter Mutharika’s government. For someone with such pathetic redundancy rate of questioning skills, you wonder why he glorifies himself as a professional TV host that can be likened with the likes of Fareed Zakaria’s of this world.

He must remember though that Times Group fires employees every year without thanking them for what they have done for many years. Soon this lad will be out of job and begging will surely be back on the cards.

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